Tag Archives: Beijing 2008

Hundreds Protest In London As Talentless And Unheroic Get Their Hands On Olympic Torch

Controversy hit the streets of London yesterday as hundreds arrived to protest against the decision to let faceless celebrity numbskulls carry the Olympic torch on the British leg of its journey to Beijing for the 2008 games.

Crowds massed in order to question the wisdom of allowing barely-famous non-personalities who have failed to ever display the talent or heroism associated with the legendary torch, to represent the nation as bearers on the occasion of its arrival in the UK.

Vocal enquries reportedly made by the crowds included “Who Are Ya?” and “Who The F**kin ‘Ell Are You?”.

One confused protestor actually made an attempt to rescue the torch thinking that its bearer was a thief, so unrecognisable was she as an appropriate personification of what the torch represents. The protestor explained: “I travelled 400 miles to see the torch carried by my hero, 5 times Olympic gold medallist Sir Steven Redgrave. Then I looked up and saw some random bird out of the crowd making off with it. I thought she was half-inching the Olympic torch! I had to do something!”

The protestor’s actions were not the only instance of confusion on the day. The crowd’s emotions went through extreme highs and lows and they watched the Olympic torch relayed between an 80-strong line-up of the heroic, courageous, talented, inspiring, vacuous, fly-by-night, morally empty, and limelight-seeking type.

Another protestor observed “I’ve never felt such mood swings in my life! One minute I’m watching Dame Kelly Holmes, and dreaming of one day emulating her double gold medal winning performance in Athens, then I’m daring to think that one day I too may become England’s greatest cricketer after seeing Kevin Pietersen. Just as I’m about to burst with all the inspiration on show, the torch gets passed to Denise Van Outen! Talk about being brought down to earth with a bump, I’m still feeling it this morning!”

This was to be a recurring theme throughout the torch’s journey, one moment in the hands of a champion, the next in those of a newsreader. The crowd’s failure to contain themselves quite understandable given the emotional rollercoaster ride they were given by the bizarre line-up.

When questioned about what the appearance of such wastes-of-space on this occasion meant for the London games in 2012, an official said: “The Olympic movement is about inclusion. We have to consider that not all young people out there may wish to achieve greatness in their lives. Some may wish to acquire wealth and fame by being a morally poisonous talent-vacuum, and doing a few magazine shoots.

“We in London think it’s very important to show the youngsters that there’s an achievable alternative to traditional ideas such as hard work. There may be those out there who are in agreement with Tina Turner that ‘We Don’t Need Another Hero’. We must be seen to represent all views in society”.


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Filed under Athletics, Beijing 2008, Comment, IOC, Kelly Holmes, Olympics, Paralympics, Steven Redgrave

Always let your conscience be your guide.

And the key word in Jiminy Cricket’s famous piece of advice, is ‘always’. Unlike Steven Spielberg, whose conscience, it would seem, is allowed to guide him at fairly random intervals.

For those who haven’t heard yet, Spielberg has resigned from his job as artistic adviser for the Beijing Olympics, on the grounds that China is not doing enough to prevent human rights atrocities in Sudan, of whom China is an “ally” (which means they buy lots of oil off them).

Spielberg’s astonishing declaration included the following:

“I find that my conscience will not allow me to continue business as usual

“At this point, my time and energy must be spent not on Olympic ceremonies, but on doing all I can to help bring an end to the unspeakable crimes against humanity that continue to be committed in Darfur”

So, Spielberg has resigned on an issue of human rights, that much is abundantly clear. I am surely not the only one then, who is at this moment rather curious about the answer to the following question:


Care to clear that one up for us Stevie boy?


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Filed under Beijing 2008, Comment, IOC, News, Olympics, Opinion, Paralympics, Sport

Quick Comment: Snooker, China and the Olympics

At just gone 7pm last night, the biggest match in snooker’s history arguably began. China’s Ding Junhui and Hong Kong’s Marco Fu began their quarter-final in the Saga Insurance Masters at Wembley Arena.

While the match roughly began at around 3am in China, the TV viewing audience there was still expected to be in the millions. Snooker has finally reached the big time (Steve Davis even gave a message in Chinese) and it leads you to ask one question: why the hell is it not in this year’s Olympics?

Technically, to refer to a previous post discussing the IOC’s recognised sports, it could become an Olympic sport since billiard sports are covered in the IOC’s so-called recognised list.

However, two obvious problems come to the fore. Firstly, there is the lack of physical exertion which, whilst not bothering me in the slightest, would certainly bother your traditionalists / “sport should involve some sweating and physical activity” group; and secondly, is the problem of the sport’s coverage. Whilst played widely around the world, the amount of world-class players outside the UK is still rather small, with Ding and Fu being the two current exceptions.

However, for pure theatre and atmosphere, imagine a gold medal match in front of thousands in the National Indoor Stadium. After all, it would easily be filled with obsessive Chinese snooker fans to the curious, wanting to catch a glimpse of a new Olympic sport –  it would surely be one of the highlights of the Olympics.

But could that be one of the reasons why it isn’t? Would the IOC accept that a sport of a less athletic nature could claim the limelight? Would the IOC accept the face of a Ding Junhui, one of the sporting personalities in China, as one of the faces of the Olympics? A snooker player ahead of a 100m sprinter? I can’t see it.



Filed under Beijing 2008, Ding Junhui, IOC, Olympics, Opinion, Snooker, Sport